The heritage trail

The Mekhala barge drops us off at Bang Pa In, just as a monk crosses the river in front of us in a cage. Not something you see every day.

The entrance to the Royal Palace is a few hundred metres away. Restored by Rama V (the son in The King & I ) the buildings and landscaped grounds channel a hotch potch of styles – Versailles-style facades here, opulent Chinese lacquering there. Broad influences all reflected. Well, he did have Deborah Kerr as a governess.

I'm here early so it's beautifully quiet. I happen upon some elephant topiary, along with a Rudolf the reindeer. Who knows why…

This whimsical little floating summer house could have been lifted straight out of Marie Antoinette's Versailles, with its pastel shades and French furniture and fittings.

Then suddenly there's something completely and unutterably Thai. These days people lean over the wall to feed the fish in the lake below with nibbles bought from a handily placed wagon. In those days it may well have been a Versailles-style "hut", for royal fishing sprees.

The strange looking bridge below has louvred windows along one side so that ladies of the royal court could look out from the inner compound, to see who was coming for an audience with the king, or just passing by, without being seen.

The building in the background below is the most incredibly ornate Chinese temple, the jewel in the crown here by far. 

My London Bulgarian Choir t-shirt fits right in!

As I leave the palace I ask about trains at the information desk. I'm heading slightly north of here to see the ancient Thai capital of Ayutthaya. There's a train in 15 minutes. Where's the station, I ask. She waves her hand in a general direction. And how long to walk there? About five minutes, says she.

Now here's the thing. I'm no slouch when it comes to walking, but 20 minutes down the road, having skirted two sides of the Royal Palace perimeter, I decide to ask for help or directions (not something I find it easy to do at the best of times, even in the UK). So this motorcycle taxi offers to drive me there. Drive? How far is it to walk, I ask. About five minutes, he says. It takes me 45 minutes in total. Note to self. Never take a Thai person seriously when they talk about walking. Because they don't.

Just as a random aside, something else I've noticed all over the place are pointless steps, no more than a few centimetres high and put in awkward places for no apparent reason other than to trip you up. The pointless step then has to be flagged up with a 'Watch the step' sign.

Fortunately, and I learn that this is also commonplace, the train is very late. So late in fact that the ticket sales man is lying down on a bench at the back of the office with his cap over his face. My ticket costs three Baht. Train tickets will be the cheapest thing I purchase during my stay in Thailand. 

So my first impressions of Thai train travel – it's hot, heaving and rattles along like an old tin can. Talking of cans, here I am in my lovely 3rd class spot, opposite the loo.

Before being sacked by the Burmese in 1767 Ayutthaya was Thailand's dazzling capital boasting more than 400 temples. 

The ruins, in varying degrees of preservation, are now scattered around a large-ish modern town, so I hire a bike opposite the station. Why not get overheated again, I think to myself. It's a boneshaker – no gears, no suspension and the distances are further than I thought. Maybe I should have hired one of Ayutthaya's unique little tuk-tuks, with their strange domed fronts.

I manage to make it round four sites in the end, clambering up steep staircases, over crumbling walls and even down into the crypt of one, where ancient murals have been revealed.

Here's one, Wat Mahathat, with its much photographed detached Buddha's head swallowed up in the roots of a tree. 

Most of the Buddhas are headless, no one knows why, and sometimes all that's left is the crossed legs and disembodied hands.

I like my final temple best, Wat Chai Wattanaram, by the river, where I discover a party going on to celebrate Ayutthaya being chosen as World Expo city for 2023. There are flower arrangements, muscians and girls and boys in colourful costumes. 

I do wonder when I'll stop looking like I've just been oven-cooked in my photos...