Parked up

The last two National Parks are each quite different, one with a lake created by a dam, the other with steep hills that undulate as far as the eye can see. Clare and I hire a car and do them on consecutive days, chilling out in Chiang Mai in between.

Walking in the Sri Lanna (Lan Na is the name of the old independent kingdom of northern Thailand before it joined up with Siam) National Park is a real disappointment, I have to admit. Clare and I head off on a supposed 3km nature trail by a scenic dam.

Two hours later we get to an abandoned village that makes me feel like I've crash-landed into an episode of Lost.

All we have is an apple, and our water soon runs out. So we have to retrace our steps back to HQ. "I wish I knew enough Thai to be able to go in and give them what for for not having a map of this place," I mutter. Makes me feel better to think it. We're revived by a litre bottle of Coke and a couple of ice creams at a cafe by the dam. The equivalent of a few sachets of Dioralyte, I reckon.

We're also revived by a visit to a tranquil waterfall where the water has calcified the limestone over time so that it's the kind of grippy surface you can climb up. 

There are lots of noisy boys stripped down to their pants but we go further down by one cascade and have the  glade to ourselves. Cue more singing, of course.

As the sun sets, we look for a temple called Banphot (I just wanted to go there – if you're Scottish you'll understand) but instead find a beautiful temple on a hill and meet a young monk who speaks perfect English and gives us a tour.

Our final day out, to Ban Mae Kampong, kicks off with the ordination of three monks at Doi Sukhet temple, half an hour east from Chiang Mai. We'd gone up there to look at some well-known and rather leftfield murals in the temple and found the ceremony going on. It makes it all the more atmospheric to see the murals while the priest is chanting. 

So here's another Park that just goes up and down and up and down as far as the eye can see. We drive up the steepest road I've ever seen to the first ridge for a wee walk, a paddle in a waterfall, then lunch in a quirky restaurant/bungalow set-up. 

The highlight of this particular day, though, is a visit to the hot springs, where geysers spout and and spray scalding mist, and the Thais picnic with their feet in water hot enough to boil an egg.

They do that too – boil eggs I mean – and you can buy them in little plastic baskets to hang on hooks under the water.

We seek out the foot massage section and I'm not sure about my lady at first. She's still got her curlers in and a shower cap on. But her touch is firm with the confidence and experience that comes with age. A bit like Mr Spock's Vulcan grip, but not as deadly. 

As you can see, I'm a goner...