Bye Thai

Back at Michaela and Duncan's commodious apartment I decide to spend my last couple of days in Thailand getting high (checking out rooftop bars) and doing a half-day cycle tour with Mic.
The bike ride takes us through grungy markets and run-down neighbourhoods on the seamy side of Bangkok, the kind of places that look worth exploring but you'd need a bit of a nerve to go into on foot. Being on a bike gives you freedom. I'd never have known about the thriving community underneath the expressway, for example, complete with a creche and gigantic sleeping pigs, otherwise known as the Klong Toey slums.

There's brief respite, and a toilet stop, at an inner-city temple that boasts the best loos for miles around, then we're off across the river on a longtail boat, which manages to accommodate the entire group's bikes, to Bangkok's "lung", the rainforested area on the other side of the Chao Phraya river. Once there we cycle the intricate network of concrete walkways connecting all the farms and houses, which are on stilts and divided by irrigation channels. The whole trip is a real eye-opener.

Before I go I manage to squeeze in a visit to Jim Thompson's house. He was a businessman who was instrumental in reviving the cottage silk industry in Thailand in the Fifties and built himself a tranquil haven in the traditional style. He mysteriously disappeared in 1967 while on holiday in Malaysia.

I also make it to Wat Arun, a Bangkok icon of a temple with the steepest staircases I have ever seen, a good photo opportunity for those brave enough to hang on half way down. It also has some great crockery designs on its walls. These were tossed into the river by Chinese merchant ships who needed to lose ballast.

I also have a last sticky rice with coconut sugar and mango. I can't imagine being able to get it so deliciously succulent anywhere else.

I get lost in Chinatown, which seems to be the thing to do, but I do find a pair of flip-flops for 60 Baht (about £1) that will sort me out for Australia. One pavement is lined with women having facials in public. Another is lined with women just sort of hanging around. Oh, right, yeah...

So it's goodbye Thailand, from a rooftop bar. Look at the view the men have from their urinal!

I'm already missing the colour, the street life, the food, the noise, the mess, the rate of exchange (see world's cheapest train ticket below), not to mention feeling quite tall – I've gone from taller than average, to average shortarse. I won't miss feeling a bit helpless. It's my most unnatural state.

And I'll kind of miss the chancers. There would have to be one last one, my driver to the airport, who tries to fleece me on the fare. It certainly sends me off with a chuckle.