Adelaideehoo

My first glimpse of Adelaide city centre is an early morning one, a trip to Central market with friends and hosts Mike and Moyra. There's row upon row of fresh produce, all neatly arranged and displayed. There's German wurst, too, probably brought down from Hahndorf, the German town in the hills, by the wagon-load.

M+M head home and leave me to mooch around Adelaide for the day. As the temperature has soared to 33 degrees this involves skirting round buildings in the shade and keeping an eye open for air conditioned heritage locations, such as he town hall. My hip seems to have clicked out of joint so I limp in and hobble up the stairs to see some bizarre contemporary art, including this koala plate.

The city is in the throes of not just one but three arts festivals: the big annual arts bash plus its ever-burgeoning Fringe festival; Womad for live world music; and something featuring heavy metal that I can't quite remember the name of. One of the elements of the Fringe is The Garden of Unearthly Delights, a collection of comedy and cabaret venues with a fairground tagged on, which is eerily quiet during the day.

Adelaide reminds me of an American city in that it's set on a grid pattern so you can never go wrong. Its streets are wide and tree-lined. There's often enough space to park sideways on, which gives you an idea of just how roomy things are. In the Botanic Gardens there's a new glasshouse soaring skyward. I have lunch and spend most of my time trying to keep the birds off my veggie wrap.

Trying to find shade along North Terrace,  a boulevard of fine buildings (some of which are now designer clothes stores), I duck into the Art Gallery of South Australia, housed in a grand sandstone pile. I spot one of Marc Newson's reclining chairs among the exhibits. He's a star Australian product designer, now based in Victoria London, and to be truthful I only know who he is because I worked on a magazine article about him. I head along to a place called The Jam Factory, famous for its glassblowing studio, and for the sophistication of the neighbouring street art.  

In terms of nightlife, I experience a little of the atmos. One evening we go to see One Man Two Guvnors, which is on tour and stars my Book Group friend Sarah's husband Nick. The play goes down very well with the Adelaidians and afterwards I meet Nick and head off to a bar with the rest of the cast and crew. Later I catch the last train back to West Croydon and manage to find my way to the house, which is no mean feat as there are several twists and turns, and the city council doesn't make street lighting a priority. I'm busting for a pee and it's so dark, and there are so few cars, that I could conceivably squat down behind a tree and go without anyone noticing. At the house Jack the dog is wedged behind the front door so I have to push him inwards. I feel like a teenager sneaking in late, but it's only 11.30pm. 

I do see a couple of the classic pubs in Adelaide, the Exeter on Rundle Street, a slice of hostelry heritage, and the Wheatsheaf, with its voluptuous tuna-tin mermaid above the fireplace. 

We also go to a large brewpub in Lobethal, another German town in the Adelaide Hills. There's one of those alcohol breathing tests in the lobby. Mike tries it out and is borderline. Good job he's not driving. One of the things I find astonishing, with all the warnings given out in Australia over drinking and driving, is the drive-in liquor stores. So I just have to snap Mike pulling up in his Ute (utility vehicle) for a crate of beer.

Another evening Mike and I join his friends Greg and Dave for a night walk up Waterfall Gully (it's dry) to the summit of Mount Lofty. It's sunset on the way up but we can just make out the path through the gloom, but we have to use head torches on the way down. It's really tough going, like being stuck on a Stairmaster in the dark. On the plus side it's a wildlife jamboree as we spot a possum up a tree, a flock of black cockatoos, and a roo that bounces past us along the path in the dark. Oh, and the whole of Adelaide, lit up and laid out before us.

Here's something else I saw in The Garden of Unearthly Delights. Tell me, how do you hang a burger?